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The Crusades (2023) — Movie Review

movies

By James Law

- Jul 16, 2023

"The Crusades," a film marketed as a teen comedy brimming with boisterous parties, stands out for its starkly violent narrative. This unique cinematic venture throws viewers headfirst into a chaotic world. It begins with an adrenaline-pumping, teen-controlled cage fight and reaches a crescendo in a brutal gang clash. The intense violence interspersed throughout the film makes it challenging to glean enjoyment or humor from the storyline.

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The narrative unfurls against the backdrop of two rival Catholic boys' schools, offering a departure from the familiar coming-of-age plot. Instead, it delves into an atmosphere reminiscent of pre-gangster origin tales. The plot threads weave together the students' overtly sexual ambitions towards their attractive teacher and the awkward attempts at charming the girls from the neighboring all-girls school. It echoes narratives from earlier comedic films such as "Porky's" and others from the "Lampoon" era.

Despite the overall grim mood, the narrative occasionally stirs laughter through the dialogue delivered by the gruff adult characters. The characters including veteran actor Mike Starr as a regular victim of doorstep pranks and Nicholas Turturro as a macho coach offer moments of levity.

However, these flashes of humor aren't enough to lift "The Crusades" to a level of enjoyable cinematic experience. In this harsh world, the journey to manhood is not by personal growth but by violent fistfights. Furthermore, the film's female characters seem almost powerless to coax the males out of their narrow perspectives. This adds a level of frustration to the narrative.

Centered on three friends from Our Lady of the Crusades school—Leo, Sean, and Jack—the plot details their experiences with violent encounters with rivals from St. Matthews. These confrontations and the intimidating girls from the local Catholic girls school, contribute to their high school experience. Survival, it seems, lies within their unyielding friendship.

The plot thickens when Our Lady of the Crusades, already under financial strain, has to merge with St. Matthews. This fusion incites heightened competition, an escalation in violence, and the looming threat of expulsion for Jack due to his participation in the film's initial cage fight.

A significant milestone in the narrative is the weekend school social dance, followed by a riotous last party. It has an intoxicating blend of alcohol-induced high spirits, potential romantic encounters, and inevitable violence.

Further adding to the tension is the character played by Blaine May. Embodying the archetype of the 'psycho ex-boyfriend,' he is bent on wreaking havoc on Leo. Armed with his personal 'wrecking crew,' he persistently hunts down Leo and his friends. This ensures an atmosphere of sustained tension throughout the film.

Although the acting isn't notably substandard, and the direction is notably dynamic, the overall construction of the film leans heavily on a series of fight scenes rather than a cohesive and engaging plotline. Recycled pranks, noticeably underdeveloped female characters, and sparse humor make the narrative feel hollow and unsatisfying.

In the end, "The Crusades," a project steered and penned by a male-driven team, appears to suffer from a kind of 'testosterone poisoning.' Regrettably, the film lacks a crucial voice to illuminate the intrinsic narrative flaws. The end product is a comedy that's steeped in anger and violence, missing both the warmth and humor it ostensibly set out to convey.

OUR RATING

3 / 10